


flower

by jgcjasmine



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ALSO homophobia!, M/M, parental abuse?, random uploads hahaha, sorry about that, watch out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16901190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jgcjasmine/pseuds/jgcjasmine
Summary: It was peaceful out here. The dark sky littered with a few specks of stars that were still visible through the vibrant lights of the city. A few cars were buzzing on the street beneath him and the wind was stirring his bangs ever so slightly. The only sounds he could hear were the cars, his slight sniffling, and-“Hey... are you okay?”And the low voice of the stranger from the balcony next to his.





	1. beginnings

Wonwoo flung open the door, still in a light fit of anger from this morning’s events. He carefully stopped the door before it could leave an indent in the wall, and huffed as he took his first steps into his new university dorm. 

He closed the door behind him, and his anger was soon replaced with awe. It was the first time he had ever seen a room this clean, bright, and big. As he took a few more steps in, he slid off his shoes and left his suitcase beside them. 

His feet felt cold on the glossy wooden floors, even though they were shielded by his socks. To the left of him was a coat closet with a sliding glass door that acted as a tall mirror. Once he passed the entrance-way, he was greeted with a fairly average sized kitchen. It was clean with a lack of empty bottles, so it was already a one-up from his own kitchen back at his home. To the right of the entrance-way was a fairly spacious living space – there were two couches! One facing the TV and one facing Wonwoo with the kitchen right behind him. There was also a series of windows a little further behind the couch facing the TV. A bit further right to the living space was a small hallway with two doors on the left of it – Wonwoo assumed these were the bedrooms. 

Without hesitating, Wonwoo grabbed a hold of his suitcase and began to wheel it to the bedroom at the end of the hall. He stared at the door to his bedroom for the next four years. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves spouting from his irrational fear of change, and placed a hand on the cold metal doorknob.  

 _Wonwoo_ _pushed open the door to his dull bedroom as his doorknob hasn’t worked in years, it didn’t bother_ _Wonwoo_ _too much, or at least he tried not to show it. Broken doorknobs don’t determine whether your parents love you or not, he just wished his parents visited him in his room to know that it was broken in the first place._  

 _He immediately feels bad for looping his mom in with_ _Seojoon_ _. The latter was_ _Wonwoo’s_ _father, but he sure didn’t act like one. Should fathers abuse their child_ _ren_ _physically and emotionally? Wonwoo didn’t know better until he was thirteen years old and the teachers asked where he was getting his bruises from._  

 _Seojoon_ _found a way to avoid the corrupt_ _child services_ _system, and remained in the house with_ _Wonwoo_ _, his brother,_ _and his mom._  

 _As_ _Wonwoo_ _entered his room, he saw his younger brother sitting on one of the two beds in the shared room. He had his headphones in and he seemed to have been crying again._ _Wonwoo_ _knows that_ _Seojoon_ _is on thin ice and would never physically abuse him_ _self_ _or Chan again, but the emotional abuse was strong enough to have you feel like the most pathetic person in the world._  

 _‘_ _Wonwoo_ _can you be useful for once? Stop reading your fucking books and come make dinner... get me another beer while you’re at it._ _Also,_ _I saw your career essay, if you think you can pursue a career in literature, consider yourself broke and on the streets from now. What a joke. Why didn’t I get a real son?’_  

 _These thoughts_ _aggressively_ _flashed in_ _Wonwoo’s_ _mind as he received an acceptance letter to a literature program at a Yonsei university in Seoul._  

 _When_ _Wonwoo_ _first got the letter, he shared it in the middle of the night with his mom, who cheered for him silently, as to not wake up_ _Seojoon_ _. The only problem was the money,_ _Wonwoo’s_ _family lived in_ _Yangju_ _which was too far of a distance for a daily commute._ _He_ _would have to get an apartment in the area._ _Wonwoo_ _however was lucky enough for his childhood friend to get accepted to the same university, and the two could room together._  

 _“If you can share an apartment with_ _Jeonghan_ _and split the rent, it’s fine by me”_ _Wonwoo’s_ _mom said in a hushed voice with a smile. This was a genuinely happy moment for_ _Wonwoo_ _, and his face_ _unconsciously made sure his mom knew how excited he was._ _Wonwoo_ _engulfed his mom into a tight hug, he was scared to let her go._  

 _“Thank you” he said softly. Over her shoulder, he could see the remnants of_ _Seojoon’s_ _usual night – empty alcohol_ _bottles_ _littered over the floor and the kitchen counter, popcorn scattered around aimlessly, and a new stain left behind on their already tattered couch._ _Wonwoo_ _let out a deep sigh._  

 _Wonwoo_ _never told_ _Seojoon_ _that he was a literature major, he believed_ _Wonwoo_ _was attending Yonsei University with a major in business. If_ _Wonwoo’s_ _dad learned otherwise, he perhaps wouldn’t even let_ _Wonwoo_ _attend. His dad would be paying for his university tuition_ _, but_ _Wonwoo_ _did not want to accept_ _Seojoon’s_ _money._ _It_ _seemed slimy._ _Wonwoo_ _didn’t like the fact that his ‘father’ would only help him out if he didn’t major in_ _something_ _he felt so passionate for._ _Plus_ _he hated the guy and didn’t want to have to depend on him like a little kid. Thus,_ _Wonwoo’s_ _pride was far too big to allow_ _Seojoon_ _to pay his rent as well._  

 _Seojoon_ _was nothing more than money to_ _Wonwoo_ _. Money and a pain in the fucking ass. He even remembers asking his mom once._  

 _“Why are you still married to him?” A_ _fourteen year_ _old_ _Wonwoo_ _asked, while comforting his eleven year old brother who just fell victim to_ _Seojoon’s_ _latest outburst._  

 _“_ _Wonwoo_ _sweetie, you know we need the money” his mom said, with a saddened expression. There truly was nothing he could do about it. He knew it was more than just the money however, he knew deep down that his mom was too scared to leave._  

 _Wonwoo_ _and his brother have always been close, he acted like a guardian angel for the latter. He would always be waiting for Chan with headphones in his hand if the screaming got too scary for_ _him to_ _handle. He didn’t want to leave Chan alone in this house, but he had no choice. He needed to get a good education so he could get a good job and buy his mom and Chan a new house – this new house would be bright, colorful, clean, and neat._  

 _As_ _Wonwoo_ _reached to grab his packed suitcase that lay on his bed, Chan grabbed his wrist before he could make contact with it._  

 _Wonwoo_ _looked down at his brother, lying on his side facing_ _Wonwoo_ _with puffy eyes. He looked too vulnerable for_ _Wonwoo_ _to want to leave him here._  

 _“Are you really leaving?”_  

 _“You know I have to”_  

 _“You’ll visit right?”_  

 _Wonwoo’s_ _chest panged at this question. He wanted to stay as far away from this house as possible, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to leave Chan and his mom alone to deal with that monster. Chan was only sixteen,_ _Wonwoo_ _couldn’t leave him behind._  

 _“I’ll try”_  

... 

 _As_ _Wonwoo_ _was about to head out the front door to drive off to Seoul, his mom came up to him and embraced him in a tight hug._ _Wonwoo_ _carefully took in this feeling. His mom’s scent, her face buried slightly in his chest, her curly hair at his chin. It felt normal; it felt safe. He didn’t know the next time he’d feel this same way._  

 _“I know you’ll do amazing Won, text me when you get there” she said, tears welling in her tired eyes that still crinkled into crescents when she smiled._  

 _Wonwoo_ _nodded with a soft smile._  

 _Chan came next._  

 _“You better come back soon... please” Chan said, saying the please in a soft voice so no one could hear his true pleas._ _Wonwoo_ _then pulled Chan into a hug, patting his back a few times for reassurance._  

 _“I won’t leave you alone here”_ _Wonwoo_ _started, “call me if things get shitty”._  

 _Chan let go and took a few steps back, smiling while trying to blink back his tears at the thought of his older brother leaving him alone._  

 _Last and least,_ _Seojoon_ _._  

 _Was_ _Wonwoo_ _expecting him to be kind? Was he expecting him to send him away like a good father? If he was, then he thought too highly of him._  

 _“Step outside, I need to speak with you”_ _Seojoon_ _said, opening the creaky door and stepping outside._  

 _Wonwoo_ _sheepishly waved goodbye to his family, and made his way outside to_ _Seojoon_ _._  

 _“_ _Jeonghan_ _, is it? You better not do any funny fucking shit with him”_ _Seojoon_ _said,_ _aggressively_ _, leaning down over_ _Wonwoo_ _. If_ _Wonwoo_ _thought he was tall, he was nothing in comparison to_ _Seojoon_ _– that man was a giant._  

 _“What do you mean”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, taken aback by the statement, ultimately deciding that this conversation would not end well._  

 _“I know you’re a faggot_ _Wonwoo_ _, and I’m disgusted, I can’t have you influencing Chan this way”_ _Seojoon_ _said, speaking quietly as if he was ashamed of_ _Wonwoo_ _._  

 _The words sent a shock through_ _Wonwoo’s_ _chest, the excitement he felt about entering university was filled with anger towards_ _Seojoon_ _._  

 _“I wasn’t planning on doing anything”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, gritting his teeth, trying to remain respectful._  

 _“Don’t lie to me kid, all you people are the same. Don’t you dare even think about getting with another one of your kind”_ _Seojoon_ _spat, his face turning red with anger. If anybody else was in_ _Wonwoo’s_ _shoes, they would most definitely be terrified by the bone-chilling expression_ _Seojoon_ _was putting on across his face. But_ _Wonwoo_ _had seen this expression too many times for it to be anything more than_ _punchable_ _to him._  

 _“Don’t treat gay people like another fucking species, we’re all human”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, giving his dad a pointed look, who scoffed in return._  

 _With this,_ _Wonwoo_ _decided he had enough. He grabbed hold of his suitcase and rolled it to his car. He got in the driver’s seat with his suitcase beside him, and started his engine as fast as he could. It took the strength of every moral left in_ _Wonwoo’s_ _body to not accelerate at full force towards_ _Seojoon_ _and his smug face._  

 _Wonwoo_ _drove the rest of the way to Yonsei University with his anger slowly subsiding._

 

He walked into his new room, and gasped at the sight. Instead of dark, dirty, forest green walls, he was met with white walls and a big window across from the door. Instead of stained carpeting, he was met with polished hardwood floors. Instead of a messy twin bed, he was met with a clean queen-sized bed.  

If it weren’t for the sound of his roommate entering the front door, Wonwoo probably would’ve started crying. 

“Hello~” Wonwoo heard a gentle voice call, and just from that, he knew it was Jeonghan. He hasn’t actually seen Jeonghan in real life since their sophomore year of high school due to a transfer, but they have kept in touch electronically ever since. 

Wonwoo walked out of his room and down the hallway to see a fresh-looking Jeonghan standing there looking like he was on vacation. 

He walked in wearing slides, black joggers, and a plain white t-shirt. He had sunglasses placed on the top of his perfectly laid platinum blonde hair.  

Blonde. The last time Wonwoo saw him, he had plain brown hair. 

“Your hair is blonde?” Wonwoo mutters out absentmindedly. 

“We havent seen each other in three years and that’s how you greet me?” Jeonghan asks, acting hurt. “And yes it is, Jesus Won, I know you’re blind but you can’t be blind to  _that_ extent. Your hair looks the same as usual” Jeonghan said with a smile, ruffling Wonwoo’s jet black hair. 

Wonwoo let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry... I’m so happy to finally see you again!” He said smiling. 

At these words, Jeonghan pulled him into a bro hug and took off his shoes. 

After helping Jeonghan bring his stuff to his room, the two boys took a seat on the couches in the living space to catch up on all of their lives they missed in their three years apart. Jeonghan has apparently become an intern at a famous idol entertainment company to do makeup for their artists. Wonwoo always knew that he had a knack for visual arts and an eye for design, but he didn’t think he would take his makeup hobby professional. Wonwoo then thought about it and realized he took his book writing hobby professional, I guess they were the same – except for the fact that Jeonghan was successful. 

“I heard from Soonyoung that you have a boyfriend?” Wonwoo asked during a break in the conversation. Soonyoung was a shared friend between Wonwoo and Jeonghan, he hadn’t seen him at all over the summer as right after high school, he went on a vacation to travel with one of his closest friends, Jihoon.  

Jeonghan nodded gingerly at the question, and Wonwoo took into notice at how his cheeks dusted ever so slightly with a light pink. “Yeah, you remember Seungcheol from bio class in freshmen year?” Jeonghan asked, leaning back in the sofa he was sitting in. 

“Wow” Wonwoo said absentmindedly, “I never thought he was...”  

“Gay?” Jeonghan interjected. Wonwoo didn’t have it in him to finish the sentence, not wanting to be disrespectful.  

“Yea” Wonwoo hummed. 

“Me neither at first” Jeonghan said smiling a bit. “So, what about you? You got a boyfriend yet?” Jeonghan asked, leaning forward as he said the last part. 

Wonwoo looked a little taken aback by the question, but tried to contain his composure. “Who said I was... gay” Wonwoo said, hesitating on the last part as if maybe if he didn’t say it out loud, it wouldn’t be true.  

He has nothing against gay people, for God’s sake his best friend is gay! But it just seems so complicated... plus isn’t it immoral? His dad already hates him and the overall societal rejection of anyone who wasn’t heterosexual wasn’t too easy on him. 

“Please babe, you know it yourself... we all do” Jeonghan snickered, and got up from his seat, heading to the kitchen. 

Wonwoo hasn’t directly outed himself to anybody, but he doesn’t necessarily deny it when someone accuses him either, so with that, Wonwoo went to his room to fully unpack his bags. 

 

That night the two boys were too tired to try and make something for dinner so they just ordered a simple takeout meal and watched re-runs of old shows they used to watch in high school. Jeonghan was especially tired however as he went to sleep as soon as he finished his chicken. Wonwoo gave him a wave as he trudged groggily into his room, and continued watching the cartoon, eating rice while he was engrossed. 

He didn’t realize how late it was until he got a text from Soonyoung who was somewhere in France. As he picked up his phone, he realized it was a little past midnight. He knew he had to sleep because his university courses would be starting in a few days.  

His morals were fighting with his will to finish the series as he ‘only’ had four episodes left. In the end, his morals won, and Wonwoo reluctantly began to pick up the takeout leftovers.  

When he finally reached the door of his room, his eyelids were already a bit droopy. As he walked into his room (as if on cue) his phone vibrated in his pocket.  

It was a text from his mom. 

He closed his door slowly behind him, sat on his bed, and looked down at his phone in his hands. 

He unlocked it and went to read his mom’s full message. 

 _‘_ _Wonwoo_ _! How are you? I hope you had a great day today! Tell_ _Jeonghan_ _I said hello! I’m about to go to sleep for the night but I want you to know that Chan,_ _Seojoon_ _, and I are rooting for your success! I know you will do amazing at Yonsei. Thank you from all of us for being the_ _Wonwoo_ _that we can count on!_  

 _I love you, goodnight :)'_  

His eyes burned at the name ‘Seojoon’. He knew that he didn’t give a damn about what Wonwoo was doing unless it was something he could tell to all his friends and brag about. Wonwoo wasn’t a commodity, he was Wonwoo. He had a soul, he had his own dreams, he had his own heart.  

All the frustration from that morning came back in the form of sadness.  

Wonwoo felt his eyes well with tears, and didn’t even try to stop them. Before they could fall, he made a quick glance to make sure the door was closed – he doesn’t like crying in front of people, it makes him seem weak when his problems are so miniscule in comparison to the ones other people face. 

He watched with blurred vision as one tear fell onto his mom’s text message, then another... and a few more. 

He sniffled quietly in the darkness of his room. He hasn’t been able to cry in a while, he would always be helping Chan or his mom out with something and he couldn’t appear to be so fragile in front of them.  

He pulled his legs up to his chest, folded his arms on top of his knees, and buried his tears in his arms. He could feel himself slowly being pulled into a dark hole. He knew that if he didn’t stop crying soon, it would go on for a while. 

Wonwoo heard the slight sound of cars in the distance and perked his head up to turn around to the big window behind him in his room. It had a balcony. He then decided that he should cry on the balcony so he wouldn’t wake up his roommate who was resting so peacefully. 

As he stepped outside, the warmth of his tears felt soothing against the cool air that was hitting his skin.  

Now that he was outside, he cried a little bit louder than normal. He crossed his arms on the railing of the balcony and rested his chin on them.  

The balcony spanned from his room to Jeonghan’s room, with only a hip-level fence in between. To the left and right of their dorm room were other dorm rooms that also had balconies. These balconies were separated by a gray wall that reached from the balcony ground to the bottom of the balcony from the room above theirs, matching the color of the outside of the apartment. 

It was peaceful out here. The dark sky littered with a few specks of stars that were still visible through the vibrant lights of the city. A few cars were buzzing on the street beneath him and the wind was stirring his bangs ever so slightly. The only sounds he could hear were the cars, his slight sniffling, and- 

“Hey... are you okay?” 

And the low voice of the stranger from the balcony next to his. 


	2. breakfast

Wonwoo immediately went dead silent, thinking that maybe if he didn’t speak, his neighbour would forget that he heard anything. He held his breath and leaned back against the sliding glass door that leads back into his room.

The words burned into Wonwoo’s memory. He kept hearing then over and over again in the silence of the night. The stranger however wasn’t saying anything else... yet...?

He waited... and waited. To be honest, it was only a few seconds but to Wonwoo it felt like forever. He hasn’t ever cried in front of anybody, and he for sure wasn’t going to let that first person be some stranger.

“I heard you crying... it sounds like you’re going through something shitty?” 

The voice called again. 

Damn, he knew Wonwoo was there. Wonwoo’s morals knew he couldn’t just leave this kind stranger hanging, so he decided to reply as calm as he good.

“Yeah” Wonwoo said quietly. His voice was so hushed that it was almost lost in the wind, however the stranger picked it up.

“Want to talk about it?” 

Wonwoo cursed himself for considering this for a second. Was he really so weak to the extent where he would open himself up to some random stranger on a balcony beside his?

“Not really” Wonwoo said curtly, before he could blurt out something stupid.

He figured the other side would have given up on talking to him by now, but he continued on.

“Want to talk about something else to get your mind off of things?” 

Wonwoo was hesitant at first. He genuinely considered the offer. It seemed harmless and a good way to clear his mind. So he agreed.

The two then went on to talk for almost half an hour about nothing in particular. Perhaps describing it as the two of them talking was an overstatement as it was mainly the stranger who led the conversation with Wonwoo’s added commentary every couple of minutes.

However, it felt like healing for Wonwoo. Being able to talk about simple things like this with was something he missed being able to do.

The conversation was cut short when an audible yawn escaped from the stranger’s mouth. Wonwoo then abruptly checked the time on his phone and saw that it was a little bit past 1 in the morning.

“Oh, I think we should go to bed now... It’s pretty late” Wonwoo said, standing up from the seated position he had been in against the wall for the past half hour. 

“Haha, I guess so” 

The stranger’s voice was warm, kind, and caring. They were a fun person to talk to. Wonwoo was thankful.

“Thanks for sitting here and talking with me... I understand I’m pretty boring” Wonwoo said, as he approached the railing of the balcony.

“You’re not boring at all! You’re totally cool” 

Wonwoo chuckled a bit at the eagerness in the stranger’s voice and instinctively leaned past the divider between his balcony and the strangers. He froze in place when he met the eyes of the person he had been talking to for the past half hour.

He had lightly tousled brown hair with the fringe of his bangs reaching almost to his dark eyes that sparkled within the moonlight. He had a slightly shocked expression on his face, mirroring the one Wonwoo currently was displaying. The lighting of the setting showed off his neighbour’s perfect features. When Wonwoo saw how objectively attractive his neighbour was, he immediately felt nervous.

Then he smiled, and just for a second, the nerves inside Wonwoo were replaced with something else.

“It was fun talking to you! My name is Mingyu by the way” 

Mingyu. That was his name. Cool. 

“Thanks again then... I’m Wonwoo” he muttered quietly, looking at Mingyu.

“It looks like you stopped crying, so I guess my work here is done” Mingyu said with a smile, his eyes scanning Wonwoo’s face. He then bid him a simple ‘goodnight’ gesture, waited for Wonwoo to reply with the slightest bit of acknowledgment, and then disappeared from sight.

Wonwoo heard Mingyu open and close the sliding door that led back into his own room. When he heard the door close, he exhaled a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He decided that it was late and he needed to sleep as well. 

The next morning, Wonwoo woke up to Jeonghan’s audible angry grumbling from the kitchen. 

He glanced at the digital clock beside his bed, fighting to keep his eyes open against the sunlight that was filtering in through the big window in his room. It was a little past nine in the morning, too early for Wonwoo to be up let alone Jeonghan. It wasn’t a school day, first day of classes didn’t start until Monday – in two days.

He forced himself to sit up and decided that he’d better start getting used to waking up early. After staring at nothing in particular with a dazed look for a few moments, he was snapped back to his senses by the sound of something falling in the kitchen. He let out a sigh as he heard Jeonghan (not so quietly) curse to himself. Wonwoo reached for his glasses on his bedside table, and headed off to see what Jeonghan was riled up about. 

As Wonwoo adjusted the glasses, he could see (a little blurred) Jeonghan standing in front of the stove, wearing an... apron?

“Jeonghan what are you doing” Wonwoo mumbled, voice raspy as he just woke up.

Jeonghan turned around at the sound. He was wearing a black apron on top of his blue t-shirt. The apron was clearly stained with flour and other ingredients, keeping his shirt clean. However, his black sweatpants were evidently stained with whatever he was attempting to cook. Hell, there was even flour in his eyebrows.

Jeonghan let out an exasperated sigh, and ran a clean hand through his blonde hair. 

“I was  _trying_ to make pancakes” Jeonghan admitted, annoyance in his tone. The sound of sizzling became audible for both parties to hear, and Jeonghan groaned and turned around to cater to his disaste- pancakes.

“Jeonghan, how do you mess up pancakes that badly” Wonwoo said, eyelids drooping a little bit, walking closer to see how badly Jeonghan messed up.

He clearly underestimated how bad of a cook Jeonghan was. There was pancake mix all over the white marble counter. There was also a sad looking stack of ‘pancakes’ in a plate beside the current burning one in the pan. By ‘pancakes’ Wonwoo means that they were either underdone, overdone, or crumbling into pieces... are pancakes supposed to be crumbly?

Wonwoo sighed at the mess and took the spatula out of Jeonghan’s hands. “You go watch tv or something, I’ll make breakfast” he said, taking the smoking frying pan off the table and bringing it to the sink.

“I mean like... I was doing fine but... thank you Won” Jeonghan said, clearly not wanting to lose his big amount of pride.

After Wonwoo made an actually edible breakfast, he and Jeonghan sat down at the island in their kitchen to eat. After a few minutes of silent eating, the latter spoke up. “I’m going to see Seungcheol this evening, do you want to come with?” Jeonghan offered.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan’s boyfriend.

Wonwoo hadn't seen him since junior year, he hadn’t had a class with him since. It would be nice to see him as he is attending a different university and all, but he didn’t really know the guy and didn’t want to intrude on their date.

Wonwoo ultimately shook his head to Jeonghan’s offer, who looked a little upset, but perked up at another thought that popped into his head.

“Also! Soonyoung and Jihoon are back! I was going to meet up with them at a coffee shop down the road” Jeonghan said happily. Wonwoo smiled at the thought, they were finally back. They had also both managed to get accepted to Yonsei which Wonwoo thought was pretty unlikely considering the acceptance rate. 

“Of course I’ll come with you” Wonwoo said, picking up his glass of water.

“Good, because I already told them you would come” Jeonghan said, a sly look playing across his face as he picked up his empty dishes and brought them to the sink.

Wonwoo’s eyes drifted around their dorm. It was still kind of surreal to him that after nineteen years, he was finally out of his old home. He still remembers when he was fourteen and would look out his bedroom window at the cars passing by, wondering if he’d be able to drive like them someday. If he’d be able to drive away and never look back.

He glanced over to the big window and when he saw the balcony from Jeonghan’s room, he was suddenly reminded of last night’s events.

Wonwoo inhaled a sharp breath, thinking about how embarrassing that entire situation was. He literally started whining to a stranger! Wait, no not a stranger... what was his name? Minho? Minhyuk? It started with an ‘M’... he thinks.

Wonwoo was too busy cringing over last night’s events that he didn’t notice Jeonghan looking at him suspiciously. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, taking a seat across from Wonwoo at the island.

_‘_ Oh nothing! I was just crying about my dad and my sad childhood to some random stranger on the balcony at some ridiculous time at night! Oh yea he was also pretty attractive! Speaking of attractive men, I am almost certainly a homosexual! Also, just thinking about how my mom and brother are in that house and how much I miss the two of them! You also almost burned down the apartment today! But other than that, we’re doing splendid! How’s your Saturday morning?’

Yea, Wonwoo wasn’t going to say that.

“Nothing. What time are we going to meet Soonyoung and Jihoon?” Wonwoo decided on.

Jeonghan didn’t look too satisfied with the answer, but he didn’t press on it. Wonwoo was grateful for that in a way. Jeonghan  _did_ know when he was lying, but he wouldn’t bother him about it unless he felt necessary, and if the time came when he did tell Jeonghan the truth, he had every answer to his problems.

“They said they wanted to meet around eleven, so we’ll leave in an hour or so?” Jeonghan asked for approval.

“Sounds good” Wonwoo said, and brought his dishes over to the sink that he realized was completely distraught from this morning’s activities.

“Jeonghan! You better clean this sink” Wonwoo called out to Jeonghan who was already on his way back to his room.

“We leave in an hour! Wear something nice!” Jeonghan called back, avoiding the question, youthfulness in his voice.

Wonwoo clicked his tongue, and decided to just clean the sink to pass the time – he had nothing better to do regardless.

After cleaning up the mess that him and Jeonghan (mostly Jeonghan) had left behind, it was time for him to get ready to go see Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

Wonwoo had to admit, it was a boring summer without Soonyoung there. Him and the latter used to go to the beach every summer where Soonyoung would go swimming and Wonwoo would sit on the warm sand, fully clothed, reading a book listening to his friend scream. It seems like a weird relationship, but it worked. Afterwards they would walk along the boardwalk at the beach and sometimes catch up with friends that lived in the area. Sometimes even Jihoon would tag along with the two of them, it was nice.

He was alone this summer. Alone in his house with the exception of Chan and his mom... and that other one. 

_He heard it through his headphones, that unmistakable sound._ _Seojoon_ _was yelling again. For what reason God only knew. He looked up from his book to where Chan was lying on his bed, watching an animated series on his laptop. Chan tried not to show it, but it was obvious to_ _Wonwoo_ _that he could hear_ _Seojoon’s_ _furious yells._

_Chan subtly clenched his toes underneath his blanket, he stopped focusing on his show, his eyes became more serious, he was forcing himself to laugh at the jokes._ _Wonwoo_ _recognized all these signs as he would make the same ones as to not have his mom worry about him._

_The yelling eventually died down, but the resulting environment of the house was one that_ _Wonwoo_ _could tell Chan didn’t want to stay in._

_Wonwoo_ _bookmarked his page, and put his book at the bottom of his drawer so_ _Seojoon_ _wouldn’t stumble across it. He then got up from his bed and reached over to Chan, patting his arm._

_Chan looked up at_ _Wonwoo_ _, vulnerability in his eyes._

_“Do you want to go biking?”_ _Wonwoo_ _asked Chan, taking out one of his headphones and nudging his head in the direction of their window, summer light filtering through it._

_Chan gave_ _Wonwoo_ _a tired but relieved smile,_ _signaling_ _his approval of the idea._

_That’s how the two of them spent the first day of their last summer_ _vacation together._

Wonwoo walked into his bright room, and made a beeline for his closet. Jeonghan told him to wear something nice? How nice? A blazer and dress pants? No... this is just a coffee shop.

Wonwoo contemplated for a minute, then gave in and chose an orange t-shirt loosely tucked into jeans that matched his black hair. He thought about whether he should style his hair for a minute while looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror after washing up. He decided the wind would mess up the styling anyways, and opted for a black bucket hat.

As he walked out of his room, fairly proud of his outfit, he came face to face with Jeonghan who always managed to look good with his style. He was wearing a loose white t-shirt with black Adidas joggers matched with a white snapback.

“You look like the ghost of Halloween past” Jeonghan said to Wonwoo, teasingly.

“It’s the ghost of  _Christmas_ past” Wonwoo corrected, patting Jeonghan on the shoulder and slipping by him to put on his sneakers.

“No! You’re missing the point! You are Halloween past because you are wearing orange and black” Jeonghan tried to explain, as he shoved his feet into his own shoes.

“It wasn’t funny Jeong, let’s go” Wonwoo said, pulling the brim of Jeonghan’s snapback down in front of his face.

The two walked down the sunny streets, the warm air was yet to be bitten by the cold breezes of the upcoming fall season. The walk to the coffee shop is peaceful, it also gives Wonwoo time to become more aware of his new neighborhood.

Wonwoo was born and raised in Yangju, so seeing such a bright and booming city like Seoul seems almost surreal to him. 

The sky was blue today, sun was shining everywhere. There were a few cars in road, most people at home resting from a weeks' worth of working. There were also many people in cafes and restaurants that him and Jeonghan passed by, teenagers enjoying their last few days of freedom before school started again.

After turning a few corners and crossing a few streets, Wonwoo and Jeonghan finally arrived at the coffee shop (a few minutes late because Jeonghan got them lost) where their old friends would be waiting.

As soon as they walked in, they spotted Soonyoung almost immediately. He was wearing a bright color-block windbreaker, standing out against his silvery hair. Jihoon was sitting beside Soonyoung at the table wearing a white shirt and a black snapback on top of his freshly dyed blonde hair (he saw pictures Soonyoung uploaded of Jihoon dying it while they were in America). 

Soonyoung was the first one to turn around and notice the two boys that just walked into the coffee shop. It had a pleasant aroma and a warm vibe to it, it also wasn’t very modernized so it reminded him of the cafes back home in Yangju. Wonwoo could see himself coming here a lot during school.

“Wonwoo! Jeonghan!” Soonyoung exclaimed, hopping out of his seat and running over to the two teenagers before they could even sit down. “How have you guys been?” Soonyoung asks, as he strikes up a conversation with them on the way back to the table where Jihoon is sitting.

As they approach the table, Jihoon says hello to the two of them with a smart grin.

“We have been good, just moved in yesterday, almost burned the house down today” Jeonghan said, settling into his seat beside Wonwoo.

“Don’t say  _we_ Jeonghan, we know it was all you” Jihoon snickered, then took a sip of his coffee.

“You’re still the same since I last saw you” Jeonghan sighed, smiling to be back with old friends.

“It’s been too long” Jihoon said, smiling and reaching out to fist-bump Jeonghan.

“You’re right, we haven’t seen you in like... three years I think” Soonyoung says. 

Wonwoo promptly decides to go buy drinks so he doesn’t get in the way of the group’s catching up. He’ll see them all a lot anyways.

He walks to the little line in front of the cashier, looking at the note on his phone that he took with everybody's orders. Two iced coffees for him and Jihoon, a latte for Jeonghan, and then some really weird drink combination that Soonyoung insists everybody try, but when they heard the ‘four caramel shots’ they decided against it. 

Wonwoo walked up to the cashier looking at his phone, trying to recite the witches brew that Soonyoung wanted. When he finally finished stumbling over his recipe, he adjusted his glasses and put his phone away.

“Can I get a name for your order?”

“Sure, Won-”

Wonwoo promptly looked up to the cashier as he was saying his name, but the words got caught in his throat and wouldn’t come out.

It’s safe to say that he remembers his neighbour's name now. It’s written on his name tag.

‘Mingyu’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that got super cliché at the end, oops.
> 
> i'll try to get the next chapter out soon! thanks for reading :^)


	3. coffee, chocolate, and consoles

“Oh it’s you. Wonwoo right?" Mingyu asked, flashing a goofy smile, writing his name down on the cup.

Wonwoo felt his face get hot, this man standing in front of him was the first person (except for his mom) that he had ever cried in front of. He instantly felt embarrassed about being so weird the other night. He however tried to regain his composure.

“Y-yea... Mingyu right?” Wonwoo mumbled out.

“Did this give it away?” Mingyu said pointing to the name tag on his chest, chuckling a little bit.

Wonwoo smiled a little at Mingyu’s antics, this was an action that Mingyu didn’t let slip by without notice.

“Whoa, you smiled! You really are feeling better” Mingyu said, face lighting up.

He looked like a little puppy, an overly excited puppy that laughs at anything... Wonwoo would have to be stupid to  _not_ acknowledge it as cute. Right? Right.

“It was just one of those late night things. I’m not usually like that” Wonwoo replied curtly, trying to not lose all his dignity and ‘tough masculine power’ after one conversation with Mingyu. 

“Okay okay tough guy, your total is $10.85” Mingyu said, rolling his eyes jokingly.

That was cute too.

Wonwoo promptly paid Mingyu in coins, and then tried to scurry off.

“See you around!” Mingyu said smiling, and Wonwoo waved back in response.

Seriously? That was cute too.

“Get a grip Won, one guy is nice to you and you’re already a raging homosexual?” Wonwoo said to himself quietly, coaxing himself to not look back in Mingyu’s direction as he walks to where he’ll be served his coffee.

Wonwoo took in the setting of the café. It felt warm and home-y. There were windows on the brick wall with dark red/orange curatins half drawn, projecting a warm color into theroom. There weren't many customers in the caféat the moment, adding to the 'small-town' vibe that it initially gave off when Wonwoo walked inside. It made him smile a bit, reminding him of the cafés and shops he and his brother would visit when they were younger.

After a few minutes of inspecting his surroundings, his name was called and suddenly there were three coffees and an abomination in his hands. He walked back to his table, taking small whiffs at the strange drink that Soonyoung demanded Wonwoo order for him. 

Thankfully he wasn't the only one that found it weird as Jeonghan and Jihoon both gave the drink a confused look as Wonwoo approached their table.

“Soonyoung will you stop drinking that? I'm almost certain it takes off five years of your life” Jihoon said, exasperated as he saw Wonwoo set down the strange mixture in front of Soonyoung.

“If that was the case, I would’ve been long gone” Soonyoung said with a happy smile, then started drinking.

“I don’t think I even want to know what’s in there” Jeonghan said, taking a sip from his latte as Wonwoo sat in the chair beside him.

Jeonghan watched as Jihoon made a gagging face at Soonyoung and his mix, then turned his head slightly towards Wonwoo, and tapped his arm where Jihoon and Soonyoung couldn’t see, signaling that he wanted to talk. This action gained Wonwoo’s attention, and he subtly leaned his head closer to Jeonghan, taking a sip of his drink.

“What’s up with you and the cute barista?” Jeonghan asked Wonwoo abruptly, causing Wonwoo to choke a little on his coffee quietly, as to not garner the attention of his other two friends (or the entire coffee shop).

Wonwoo managed to swallow, and turned to look Jeonghan in the eye. “What do you mean?” he managed out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I’ve never seen you talk to someone for that long” Jeonghan said, raising an eyebrow, “are you making friends with strangers now?”

“I talked to him for a normal amount of time as any customer would” Wonwoo said, trying to prove his false point.

“Won, whenever you buy things you don’t even make eye contact with the cashier let alone hold a two minute conversation” Jeonghan said, resting his chin on his hand, looking in the direction of Mingyu. Wonwoo followed his glance for a second to see where it led, then immediately looked back down at his coffee in his hands. The ice cubes moving around ever so slightly.

Was it really two minutes long? It felt like an hour. “I’m just in a good mood today because Jihoon and Soonyoung are back” Wonwoo said, taking a sip of his drink, trying to stop Jeonghan from egging him on.

“You have two moods, awake or asleep... I barely see you smile” Jeonghan joked, turning away from Wonwoo, non-verbally ending their conversation.

At least Wonwoo hoped it was over.

“I know him... Mingyu, I mean” Jeonghan said, after pointing something out something in the store to Soonyoung to distract his attention.

Okay, Wonwoo was genuinely curious about this. Jeonghan knows random balcony boy?

“I bumped into him once at a video game store, he said he recognized me from Seungcheol’s Instagram page... they played on the same soccer team”

Mental note; Mingyu likes soccer and video games... nerd.

“And you kept in touch?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.

“A little, he would ask me what to buy Cheol for his birthday and what not, haven’t talked to him too recently though” 

“Yea cool... but what does that have to do with me” Wonwoo said, using the straw of his drink to stir the melting ice cubes around.

“In case you wanted his number stupid” Jeonghan said, then cleared his throat and directed his full attention back to Jihoon and Soonyoung. A conversation carried on between the three while Wonwoo thought about the previous events. There was quite possibly no way he could’ve already fallen for someone.

It’s just physical attraction.

It makes sense too, it happens to everyone. Mingyu was just an objectively handsome guy, he could tell he wasn’t the only one that thought this way as out of the corner of his eye he saw a multitude of girls batting their eyelashes at the barista across the counter. He was no more than one of them.

What Wonwoo  _didn't_ see however was the difference between the smiles Mingyu handed out to his admirers and the ones he gave Wonwoo.

After saying their goodbyes to Jihoon and Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Jeonghan began to make their way back to their dorm. The sun was still high in the sky as it was only the middle of the afternoon. As Jeonghan and Wonwoo were walking, Wonwoo spotted a cat laying on a bench beside its owner, soaking up the sun. Its golden fur reflected the light of the sun, giving it a slight glow. 

That’s right, Wonwoo had a cat when he was younger.

_“I’m going to name her Anthos, it means flower in Greek... she’s like a cute flower surrounded in a world of mundaneness”_

_Chan whined at this remark. “Come on_ _hyung_ _, Anthos is a weird name.” He sat up on his bed, facing_ _Wonwoo_ _who sat on his own, holding a small white cat in his arms._

_“I signed off on the adoption papers, I can name her whatever I want”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, cradling the cat in his arms._ _However_ _when his younger brother fell silent, he looked up at him with a softened expression. “We can call her Ana for short”_ _Wonwoo_ _said with a kind smile,_ _inticing_ _an identical one from his brother._

_Wonwoo_ _was fourteen when he first adopted Anthos, Chan was eleven._ _Seojoon_ _believed that the boys should learn responsibility and allowed_ _Wonwoo_ _and Chan to get a pet after much pleading. This was one of the few things_ _Wonwoo_ _was grateful to him for._

_Wonwoo_ _and Chan went to the adoption_ _centre_ _with their mom and spent a good amount of time looking for pets. It was decided that since_ _Wonwoo_ _was the oldest that he would be the one taking the most care of it, thus allowing him to pick the animal. The two boys mutually agreed on a cat, and immediately were drawn to said section when arriving at the building._

_Wonwoo’s_ _eyes scanned all the cats until they landed on one. It was small, not fully grown – white fur and hazel eyes. The way_ _it_ _stared at_ _Wonwoo_ _intrigued him, and when it started almost waving its paws at him had him sold._

_Wonwoo_ _cared deeply for the cat and made sure it was well fed, well rested, and entertained every day for a few years. Their time however was cut short when Chan developed an allergy to cats, severe enough that Anthos had to leave._

_When_ _Wonwoo_ _was seventeen, Anthos was sent to live with his grandma in_ _Goyang_ _. He didn’t cry... he stopped crying over nothing at sixteen._ _Wonwoo_ _hasn’t seen Anthos since as_ _Goyang_ _was too far from_ _Yangju_ _for him to recreationally visit_ _, and when his grandma visited for the holidays, she left her cat with sitter._

_Regardless of the amount of time spent together, Anthos was a huge part of his life. She was always there for Chan when_ _Wonwoo_ _wasn’t able to be there. She was one of_ _Wonwoo’s_ _closest friends._

He peeled his eyes away from the cat, making a mental note to visit his grandma. 

After a little bit of walking, Jeonghan’s eyes were caught by a store across the street. He pointed it out to Wonwoo who walked a couple steps back to meet Jeonghan who stopped walking. Wonwoo looked to where Jeonghan was pointing, and discovered that it was a chocolate store.

“Should I buy something for Seungcheol for tonight? I think he’d like that” Jeonghan said, asking as if regardless of what Wonwoo would reply, he would still go. Wonwoo knew this, so he just nodded.

He then found himself in a warm, sweetly scented chocolate shop standing beside Jeonghan who was entertained with the variety of selection. Wonwoo kept himself busy by reading the descriptions of the different flavors behind the glass casing. 

Maple cream chocolates, cappuccino chocolates, mint chocolates, and many more. There were even potato chip shaped chocolates.

“Which one do you think he would like?” Jeonghan asked Wonwoo, squatting down in front of the display to get a better view. 

“I barely know the guy Jeonghan, just get him whatever” Wonwoo scoffed. He saw the sparkle in Jeonghan’s eyes dull a little, and regretted his statement.

“I like pomegranates... but that’s just me. You could get him something simple, plain milk chocolate” Wonwoo said, squatting down next to Jeonghan, who smiled at his response.

Milk chocolate.

_“It’s milk chocolate!” she said. Her dyed brown hair pulled up into a neat ponytail, held together with a pink scrunchie – is that what those are called? He thinks he heard his brother mention them_ _before. Speaking of Chan, did he even remember to bring his lunch with him to school? He forgets everything, the other day he almost forgot his pants. He was standing in the door frame half naked asking_ _Wonwoo_ _if he forgot anything._

_“Um, do you not like it?” she asked, snapping_ _Wonwoo_ _out of his train of thought. Where was he again? Oh. He was sitting at his desk alone during lunch break, he was trying to read until the girl that sits behind him –_ _Hayoung_ _, decided she was in love with_ _Wonwoo_ _and presented him with a little chocolate bunny that she said she made that morning. It was milk chocolate._

_“Oh uh, it’s really cute thanks”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, giving her a half-hearted smile then turning his attention back to his book. He was reading ‘The Catcher in the Rye’... it was pretty angsty if you ask him. The main character got kicked out of his school for failing so terribly. That sounds like a probable situation for many kids in_ _Wonwoo’s_ _class if his school was as strict._

_“_ _Wonwoo_ _. Were you not listening? I like you”_ _Hayoung_ _said, her face becoming a mixture between embarrassment and impatience._

_What was he supposed to say to this? He didn’t feel any attraction towards_ _Hayoung_ _, or the other handful of girls that confessed to him._

_“Thank you” was what he settled for._ _Hayoung’s_ _features fell a little, then they slowly turned into something too weak to be anger... agitation maybe?_

_“You’ll never get a girlfriend with that attitude_ _Wonwoo_ _” she said, then walked out of the class to where her friends were watching at the doorframe._

_That statement didn’t bother him as much as he felt that it should’ve. He just didn’t feel any attraction to females... Did this mean he was... No, no way._ _Seojoon_ _would kill him. He just hasn’t found the right girl yet._

Four years later and he still hasn’t found the right girl. 

It was freshman year of high school that Wonwoo realized he wasn’t the same as his other friends, all lusting over girls left and right. He never admitted to himself that he was gay, because maybe if he denied it long enough it wouldn’t be true? He still believed that he could find the right girl and live a normal life with a wife and kids.

But a certain tall, (kinda) handsome brunette was making him second guess that future.

Wonwoo watched as Jeonghan paid for his chocolates with a fond look on his face, and Wonwoo was happy for him. Wonwoo doesn’t remember much about Seungcheol, but if someone could make Jeonghan smile the way he is right now, then they must be an amazing person. 

Wonwoo was sitting in his room reading when he heard Jeonghan approaching Wonwoo’s ajar door, tapping it open and peeking his head inside. The curtains were drawn but the sunlight was fading into the evening. The room was lit only by the small fluorescent lamp on Wonwoo’s bedside table, a faint orange glow from the windows casted onto Jeonghan’s face. He kept the same outfit from earlier that day, changing only into a white sweater as the late summer evenings were getting colder.

“I’m heading out now, are you going to be okay for a few hours?” Jeonghan asked, voice gentle. He was also smiling slightly, Wonwoo could tell just how excited he was to see his boyfriend. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine... probably going to play video games by myself” Wonwoo said, getting a little antsy at the thought of him being able to use the big tv in the living room to play Overwatch. When he initially tried a few hours ago, Jeonghan just unplugged his half set-up console and told him to go play on the smaller tv in his room, claiming that the game made him nauseous.

“How about you play with mister handsome next door? I heard he’s got a knack for Overwatch, one of the best players in Seoul” Jeonghan suggested, a sly look on his face as he smirked slightly.

“I’ve never lost in terms of eliminations to  _anyone,_ no way I could lose to that guy” Wonwoo said, stubbornly. He was literally the best player in Yangju, he was kinda famous in the community. “Go on your date” Wonwoo urged, as Jeonghan (and his smug face) wouldn’t leave the doorway of Wonwoo’s room. 

“Alright, don’t have too much fun without me!” Jeonghan said as he finally turned around and walked back down the hallway of their apartment, his voice getting quieter as he walked farther down the hallway.

“Don’t count on it” Wonwoo called out to a chuckling Jeonghan as he heard him close the apartment door.

Wonwoo sat on his bed for a few more minutes, re-reading the same sentence of his book over and over again until he sat up and decided that it was Overwatch time.

He walked out of his room after turning his lamp off, stretching his arms a bit, he was sore after reading in the same position for a little over an hour. He shuffled out to the living room, grabbing his console and a remote on the way out.

He brushed off some of the dust that gathered on top of his console with the sleeve of the red sweater that he changed into. A bit of the dust fell onto his black jeans that he was still wearing from before. 

He reached the television and placed the remote on the couch facing it. It wasn’t until Wonwoo actually took a look at the wires coming out of the PlayStation that he realized he didn’t have any idea on how to set this thing up.

Now Wonwoo wasn’t stupid, he just wasn’t  _too_ familiar with setting up technology as he usually left that job to Chan who would set up their consoles back at home because no one else would do it for them.

Wonwoo didn’t even think about searching up on his phone how to do it, he just wracked his head for five minutes straight until he heard a knock at the door.

Wonwoo uttered out a silent curse to his PlayStation for being too hard to set up as he walked over to the door of their apartment, scratching the back of his head as he grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open.

And suddenly he was face to face with mister handsome next door, Wonwoo’s black bucket hat in his hand.

“You left this at the café" Mingyu said, voice low and gentle.

He wasn’t even dressed up but he looked so effortlessly handsome. Who knew that someone could rock an ugly green sweater that well?

Wonwoo gulped as he took the hat from Mingyu’s hands, their eye contact not having been broken yet. 

Now Wonwoo promised himself that he wouldn’t have too much fun without Jeonghan that evening, but he was feeling more brave than usual.

“Can you help me set up my console?” 

To which he agreed with a smile that made Wonwoo feel a little giddy inside – something he would never admit to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaah I'm back!  
> first of all, I want to thank you all for the overwhelming support that 'mistletoe' got! I was so happy to see that you guys enjoyed it :')  
> updates for this story should become more regular??(i hope)??  
> thank you so much for reading this story!   
> lastly, happy 2019 everyone! i hope this year brings you nothing but happiness (and $$$) :^)  
> goodbye for now!


	4. fun for now

Wonwoo sat on the couch across from the television with his bucket hat in his hands, watching as Mingyu was bent over beside the television, fiddling with the wires coming out of the console.

Wonwoo found it ridiculous how small Mingyu looked in this moment, for someone who is usually towering over him, seeing him this small was a drastic change.

After a few short minutes (as if he were an expert) Mingyu stood up, looked at Wonwoo, and declared that the latter could use the Playstation now. 

Wonwoo stared at him for a few moments, then stood up and thanked him with a straight face.

To this, Mingyu scoffed.

“That’s it? You call me over here to set up your Playstation and that’s it?”

“I didn’t call you here, you showed up” Wonwoo said, avoiding the fact that deep inside him something is screaming at him, telling him to ask Mingyu to stay for a little longer.

“I showed up to give you your stupid hat that you left at the Café, I’d say you owe me something now” Mingyu said, slowly walking closer to Wonwoo.

“... another ‘thank you’?” Wonwoo hesitantly asked, trying to take a few steps back but it rendered pointless as the back of his knees came into contact with his damn sofa, not letting him retreat any further.

“What’s your last name?” Mingyu asked gently, his advancing movement stopping with his face a little less than a foot away from Wonwoo’s.

“Jeon” Wonwoo instantly blurted out. The proximity was making him nervous. He didn’t usually like it when people got too close, but he didn’t feel bothered this time.

_“You call that a hug?”_

_There it was again, people always asked him that. It was his aunt’s turn this time. He didn’t like hugging people. It made him uncomfortable for whatever reason. He could only hug three people without feeling sick – Chan, his mom, and one of his childhood friends._

_“I haven’t seen you in a year and you can’t even hug me properly boy?”_

_She was still talking. Was it that big of a deal?_

_“Sorry”_ _Wonwoo_ _muttered, scratching the back of his head as his aunt walked into the kitchen with the rest of the adults._

_After standing there like an idiot with his hand on his head for a few minutes, he felt a tap on the back of his shoulder._

_“You really_ _gotta_ _work on showing affection_ _hyung_ _” Chan said, his face beaming with innocence._

_“It’s hard for me with most people”_ _Wonwoo_ _said, then pulled Chan into a brotherly hug – more loving than he gave any of his aunts or uncles – and grinded his knuckles into his head softly. “Congratulations, I’m proud of you”._

_It was Chan’s elementary school graduation party, and everybody was at their house. Their house was already small to begin with, having twenty-something people just made it seem cramped and ridiculous._

_Or maybe it was just_ _Wonwoo_ _going through his moody teenager phase._

_Either way, he tried to retreat to his room various times as he gets the_ _feeling_ _from a few aunts and uncles that they dislike him – no, he knows they do._

_Probably because he isn’t the perfect kid like Chan._

_When_ _Wonwoo_ _is a bookworm who has talked to three girls unrelated to him in his lifetime; two being his teachers and one being one of his best childhood friends_ _, Chan is a straight A student in infinity plus one extra curriculars and sports teams with a huge group of friends._

_Speaking of his childhood best friend, he hasn’t seen_ _Seulgi_ _in a little over a year, she transferred schools when she was fifteen and they forgot to exchange numbers even after being best friends for about ten years. They just never saw the need to, she lived right next door. The window to her room opposite the window to_ _Wonwoo’s_ _._

_Both their families thought they could’ve spouted some sort of relationship, but_ _Wonwoo_ _saw her as the sister he never had._

That’s probably what they would’ve wanted from him. A nice normal family where he could give his mother grandkids. But instead here he was, standing in his apartment with his heart racing faster than ever before, not from a girl but from a boy. His stomach lurched with the feeling of failure mixed with a few butterflies from the aforementioned boy.

“Jeon, that’s a cute name. It suits you” Mingyu said, and the way he said that with a smile with his head slightly cocked to the left made Wonwoo’s feeling of failure be completely overtaken with the butterflies.

“Thanks I guess, what’s your last name?”

“Kim. Kim Mingyu. Like iron or gold I think?” Mingyu said, then did a little pout as if he was actually thinking about what the most generic name in all of Korea could possibly mean. Wonwoo let out a small laugh.

Mingyu immediately snapped out of his ‘thoughts’ and looked at Wonwoo. 

“This is the second time I’ve seen you laugh” Mingyu said, suddenly a little more serious, but with a pleasant smile playing at his features. 

Wonwoo didn’t say anything. Mingyu took a half step closer, eyes scanning Wonwoo’s features before landing back on his eyes.

“Do you...” Mingyu started in a soft voice, gaze intense. However, he clearly snapped out of whatever he was thinking and took a few steps back, finishing the sentence with a cheery “want to play Overwatch?”

Wonwoo took a gulp, swallowing down a strange feeling in his chest.

“You can’t play split screen Overwatch” Wonwoo said, matter-of-factly.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t play with two people, sit down” Mingyu said, then turned on the console and the television.

After Wonwoo showed him where he kept his controllers, Mingyu came back with one in his hands.

“How is this going to work” Wonwoo asked, his entire body sinking closer to sea-level as Mingyu took a seat on the cushion next to him.

“We trade off in the middle of the round” Mingyu explained as he already had the game loaded up.

“How is that going to work” 

“Stop asking questions, Jeon” Mingyu said, threw him a stupid wink then looked back at the game – he was in queue waiting for more players.

‘Jeon’ Wonwoo thought to himself. He remained silent a little while after that, the sound of Mingyu calling him ‘Jeon’ resonating through his ears.

“I heard that you’re good at this game?” Wonwoo asked when the silence between them (save for the constant button pressing coming from Mingyu), thinking back to what Jeonghan mentioned earlier.

“Indeed. Not to brag but I have been deemed one of the best players in Seoul” Mingyu said in a way where if it was anybody else he would’ve found it arrogant, but the cute smile he gave Wonwoo afterwards wiped away any negative perceptions.

“Doesn’t look like you know what you’re doing” Wonwoo said, gesturing to the screen.

To a normal player, Mingyu would look like an expert, but Wonwoo has been playing long enough to notice even the slightest flaws in one’s gameplay.

“Hey, I don’t usually play Hammond” Mingyu protested. Wonwoo didn’t play that hero either. In simplest terms it was a hamster that rolled around in a ball that also doubled as a tank... it kinda was a weird game when he thought about it. The more Wonwoo thought about it, his personal record was probably higher than Mingyu’s, he was one of the best players in Yangju-

“Your turn!” Mingyu shouted, snapping Wonwoo out of his thoughts as he threw the remote to Wonwoo while he was still in the middle of a fight.

Of course Wonwoo died, he didn’t figure out what even happened until he was back at the spawnpoint.

“Wow, I can’t believe you died first” Mingyu said, acting fake annoyed with a hint of proudness at the stunt he just pulled.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see who actually does something impressive first” Wonwoo said, eyes glinting with spirit so strong that even Mingyu stuttered a bit when they made eye contact. Wonwoo wasn’t normally competitive, but boy Mingyu really knew how to grind his gears. Wonwoo switched from the weird hamster character to the character he dedicated the most hours to – Hanzo. (Put simply, the dude with the bow and arrow).

“Show me what you got Jeon”

There it was again. ‘Jeon’. Wonwoo lost his focus for a slight second at the sound of Mingyu’s voice, but gained it back as he saw the opportunity to kill an enemy... and another... and another... and another, wow Wonwoo was really going off wasn’t he.

Mingyu was too in a trance by Wonwoo’s flawless technique to even ask for the remote back. Wonwoo played out the rest of the game not dying once. It wasn’t until the game showed an automated replay of the best play of the game – obviously Wonwoo – that Mingyu even spoke.

“Who are you” Mingyu said in pure astonishment at his skill.

“I didn’t really have a lot of friends back in Yangju so I would spend all my free time either reading or playing this game” Wonwoo explained with a shrug, but to be honest, it felt good to be able to impress Mingyu.

“Can you teach me?” Mingyu asked, eyes open wide. 

The two boys played the game together for about another hour until Wonwoo’s stomach grumbled a little louder than he would’ve wanted.

It was only then that the two realized that they unconsciously moved closer to each other throughout their gameplay. Wonwoo was now suddenly all too aware of how close he was to Mingyu, and how his skin felt like it was burning in every spot it was touching his.

Mingyu looked at Wonwoo with a puzzled look that turned into a laugh. “Hungry?”

Wonwoo’s face went slightly red... was his stomach as loud as he thought? He nodded his head with an embarrassed look on his face.

“Your face is so red” Mingyu said, laughing.

“You really notice everything about me, don’t you” Wonwoo asked rhetorically, but it came out quieter than he wanted it to.

“How couldn’t I”

Wonwoo didn’t know if Mingyu actually said that, his voice was so hushed that it was lost under the sounds of the game in the background, the game that seemed very far away right now.

It was quiet. He couldn’t hear the video game anymore. All his senses were focused on Mingyu.

Mingyu made that face again... the face where it looks like he wants to say something but at the last second, he hesitates and it’s gone forever. 

“Mingyu I-” Wonwoo started to speak, but all of a sudden, a surge of thoughts came through his head. Negative ones. His entire head was filled with Seojoon’s angry lecture he gave Wonwoo before leaving.

_“I know you’re a faggot_ _Wonwoo_ _, and I’m disgusted_ _”_

No, no there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and Wonwoo wasn’t. This was just, a little crush. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

_“I can’t have you influencing Chan this way”_

Could it really influence Chan? No that’s not possible... right? On the other hand, he still wanted to be a good role model for Chan... if he came out as gay to him... he would lose all respect for him. No, no. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love... right?

_“Don’t lie to me kid. All you people are the same”_

No. No it’s not.

“I think you should leave” Wonwoo finished.

And wow. Wonwoo hated the way Mingyu’s features immediately fell. The light radiating off of him suddenly became dull. His aura dropped to a colder temperature. Mingyu didn’t protest Wonwoo’s wishes, he also tried to hide his sadness. 

“That was fun. I’ll see you around” Mingyu said as he saw himself out of Wonwoo’s apartment – he couldn’t bring himself to get out of his seat.

The door closed louder than Wonwoo expected and it made his heart hurt more than it already did.

‘Love is love’ was all the rage a few years ago when gay marriage became legalized. It has been shoved in Wonwoo’s face so many times that he almost was able to feel confident in his feelings, but it was as if Wonwoo was a flower, and Seojoon was plucking all his flowers out one by one until he was left with nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> sorry for the short chapter, i didn't have much time to write amidst my studying;;  
> this will probably be the last update until around February or late January as I have my finals coming up at the end of January!  
> thank you all once again for all the support <3 it means a lot  
> well, until next time  
> thank you for reading and i'll be back soon!

**Author's Note:**

> oh my oh gosh golly gosh gosh
> 
> okay so this is my first time actually publishing one of my works and maybe this will inspire me to finish it?
> 
> regardless i hope you enjoy this story... let's see how this goes :')
> 
> ALSO italicized text means a flashback... if you haven't figured that out :* (except for that occasion of wonwoo getting a text from his mom... I promise it won't be this confusing in the future hehe)


End file.
